Are your divorcing female clients experiencing “money grief”? Here’s how to help

A divorce is a significant life change for your female clients. After imagining a future with their partner, they must come to terms with the fact that their plans have changed. This uncertainty can be challenging, and many women experience “money grief” in the wake of a divorce.

We often associate grief with the loss of a person. However, your clients may face the same emotional hurdles when considering the loss of income, financial security, and a lifestyle they enjoyed with their ex-partner.

When working with clients, it’s important to recognise the signs of money grief and some of the ways you can support them.

The common signs of money grief to look out for

Money grief is complex and, much like losing a loved one, everybody reacts to the loss of their financial situation differently.

Anger, denial, and depression

It’s normal for your clients to have a strong emotional response to their changing financial situation during a divorce.

Some might experience denial as they don’t want to come to terms with the reality of their situation. Those who do acknowledge it might be angry and seek to blame themselves or their ex-partner. Alternatively, the loss could cause feelings of depression and withdrawal in your clients.

Financial paralysis and avoidance

Changes to their financial situation can leave your clients unsure about how to proceed. The goals they shared with their partner may no longer apply, and their household income will likely be lower.

In some clients, this disruption could lead to financial paralysis as they struggle to decide on their next steps. Others might avoid thinking about money altogether because they find it too overwhelming.

Unfortunately, this could mean they ignore problems and sleepwalk into financial difficulty. They may miss opportunities to grow their wealth and secure their financial futures, too.

Reactive or emotional spending

During times of emotional turmoil, your clients could fall into a pattern of reactive or emotional spending as the instant gratification might make them feel better about their situation.

Equally, if they feel that the long-term plans they had with their ex-partner are out of reach, they might take a short-term approach instead.

While there is nothing wrong with enjoying their money, excessive spending could make it more difficult for your clients to build wealth for later life.

Anxiety about the future

Couples typically plan for retirement together, relying on both pensions and their combined savings to fund their lifestyles. After a divorce, the partner with the smaller pension – often the woman – could be left underprepared for retirement.

This leads to another common sign of money grief as clients worry about their future security.

Money grief can disrupt your relationship with divorcing clients

Working with a client experiencing money grief can be challenging for several reasons. For instance, if your client is withdrawn or avoidant, they may delay decisions. Additionally, if they’re experiencing feelings of depression or anger, they may struggle to think clearly about their future.

Ultimately, this might slow the process and lead to post-settlement regret if your client is unhappy with the outcome. In some cases, you could face challenges from clients who made unsuitable decisions while they were struggling with money grief.

That’s why it’s important to approach these clients with care. If you suspect that your client is experiencing money grief:

• Be patient with them.
• Acknowledge their feelings and concerns.
• Don’t overload them with too much information at once.
• Present clear options and use simple language to make important decisions less overwhelming.

By communicating in the right way, you can support your clients through the grieving process. However, it may also be useful to refer them to a relevant financial specialist who can help them take control of their future.

The right financial support can help your clients through the grieving process

Time is the most important factor in dealing with money grief, as it takes a while for your clients to come to terms with their new situation. That said, the right support can make the process easier.

I can alleviate issues with financial avoidance by assessing their financial situation and clearly laying out options in a visual way using cashflow modelling software. That way, your clients can make decisions with confidence.

Additionally, I can discuss their wants and needs and help them create new financial goals more suited to their life after divorce. If they’re concerned about how they might fund those goals, I’ll support them in building their savings and investments.

Ultimately, with my guidance, your clients can overcome money grief and come out of the divorce feeling positive about their futures.