Divorcing but still living together? 5 crucial financial steps every woman should take

If you share a home and a life with someone, a separation is unlikely to be an overnight event. There may be practical, financial, and emotional reasons why you need to remain under the same roof as your ex-partner while waiting for your divorce to be finalised.

For example, you might want to wait for your financial settlement to be granted so that you can make an informed decision about your living arrangements.

Moreover, in England and Wales, a no-fault divorce takes at least six months to complete, even if your circumstances are straightforward and everything goes smoothly.

If you have complex financial or childcare issues to resolve, or court intervention is required, it could take considerably longer to get your Final Order (formerly known as the “decree absolute”). It’s also not unknown for court backlogs and mistakes to occur, which may delay proceedings further.

Whatever the causes of your situation, being stuck in limbo – divorcing but still living together – could be a frustrating time that leaves you feeling powerless and impatient for things to move forward.

Here are five financial steps to take if you’re a divorcing woman living with your ex that could help you protect your financial wellbeing and prepare for the future.

Read more: Financial settlements in divorce – 5 common causes of delays and how to avoid them

1. Gather all your financial documents

It’s important to understand the full financial picture of your wealth as a couple. This could help you manage your shared responsibilities in the short term and negotiate a fair financial settlement.

Perhaps your ex-partner managed all money matters in your marriage, or maybe you shared this responsibility? Either way, there are likely some aspects of your finances that you’re unclear on.

Even if you know your shared finances inside out, you’ll need to provide full financial disclosure as part of the divorce process.

As such, a crucial first step is to gather all your financial documents, such as bank statements, pension scheme details, mortgage agreements, and so on. Keep copies somewhere safe that only you can access. This paper trail could be invaluable if your ex-partner tries to hide assets during the divorce.

2. Freeze or close joint accounts

You’ll need to manage your shared accounts carefully to protect your financial independence and credit rating. Remember, if an account is in both your names, you’re equally responsible for any spending, overdrafts, and missed payments linked to it.

As such, if your partner overspends or stops contributing to the account, this could negatively affect your cash flow in the short term and might reduce your ability to borrow in the future.

In contrast, setting up individual accounts and then closing or freezing joint ones puts you in control. Closing is permanent, whereas freezing places a temporary block on withdrawals, payments, and transfers.

Opening separate accounts allows you to:

• Prevent your ex-partner from unauthorised access to your income and other wealth
• Remove the uncertainty and stress of being financially tied to your ex-partner
• Establish clear financial boundaries, which could lower the risk of disputes
• Reduce reliance on joint funds and build your financial independence
• Facilitate budgeting by making it easier to track who pays for what
• Protect your credit score and establish your individual rating.

Be sure to put alternative accounts in place before closing or freezing any joint account used to pay for essential costs.

3. Work out an interim financial agreement

Even if tensions are high between you and your ex-partner, communication is key to ensuring that the financial side of things runs smoothly while you’re still living together.

Try to agree on how your shared ongoing expenses will be paid during this transition period and document this arrangement in writing. You might like to consult a solicitor to formalise your financial agreement.

This may feel uncomfortable; however, clarifying your individual financial responsibilities now could reduce the risk of disputes and emotional strain down the line.

4. Start planning your post-divorce finances

While managing your immediate finances is crucial when divorcing but still living together, you can also use this time to plan for the future.

Think about what you want your life to look like post-divorce, and create a realistic budget based on the information you have.

Of course, if you’re still waiting for your financial settlement, there may be some question marks over your post-divorce income and expenses. However, looking forward and preparing for your new, financially independent life as much as you’re able could be extremely empowering if you’re feeling stuck.

Moreover, having an idea of your post-divorce budget may also help you negotiate and make informed decisions about a settlement when the time comes.

5. Seek support from an empathetic financial planner

Getting the right guidance and advice early in your divorce could help you manage your immediate financial situation and prepare for the future.

I am one of the few female financial planners in the UK who specialises in working with women pre- and post-divorce.

At a time when you may be feeling uncertain and anxious, I can offer the practical and emotional support you need to make key decisions and take control of your short- and long-term financial wellbeing.

Using advanced cashflow modelling software, I can help you understand your current financial situation and plan for your life after divorce. This sophisticated technology allows me to provide a clear picture of how different settlement options could affect your financial position, enabling you to make crucial choices with insight and confidence.

Please note: This article is for general information only and does not constitute advice. The information is aimed at retail clients only.

All information is correct at the time of writing and is subject to change in the future.

Please do not act based on anything you might read in this article. All contents are based on our understanding of HMRC legislation, which is subject to change.